I think we all know that sometimes life can get crappy. No matter who we are, where we are or what we’re doing, there comes a time when sometimes all you want to do is hibernate like a bear, close the entrance to the cave, and hope that when we wake up things will be better.
I have always considered myself a glass half full kind of gal. In fact, I’ve been considered this to such an extent by friends and family that sometimes I have to watch my back so someone doesn’t slap me silly while they are angsty and I am trying to get them to see the light at the end of the tunnel which is NOT a train. I am known for always seeing the bright side, for finding the silver lining in the cloud yada yada yada. Cliches and platitudes abound on this subject.
But even positive thinkers need a little boost now and then. I’ve been going some tough times which have made me question my original outlook and wonder if I’ve been a fool all those years before. Wondering if in fact the people who tell me, ‘I always look on the negative side because then I won’t be disappointed and hurt’ were actually correct. For me to question this is like Luke Skywalker questioning whether he has a thing for Han Solo. Oh sorry, you all say he didn’t? Well, you can think what you like on that one 😉
Sometimes it takes life’s adversities to start over again. In 2000 my family -husband and two young children- left South Africa for England to try and make a better life away from the violence. We landed on the UK shores with six boxes full of clothes and some personal stuff, £3000, no jobs, no plan but we had a place to stay with a friend. Now we are settled, although life is taking a bit of a bad turn, but we are still together, still enjoying the UK, and my kids have had opportunities that they would never have had in SA. Like my daughter just getting her First in her BA Drama and Film Studies at Kingston University. I’m so proud of her, and she works hard and deserves it. This is something she’d never have done had we remained in Johannesburg. So the light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t a train works its magic. And then had I not come over to the UK, I’ve never have heard of Benedict Cumberbatch, never been inspired to write a book with a character inspired by him, never submitted it to a publisher and never would have been published. My childhood of dream of becoming a published writer was fulfilled. I’ve seen some beautiful countries and had a chance to travel.
Life has a way of making lemonade from the lemons even if perhaps we don’t see it right away. I’ve had to take a step back and try and find the good in the world around me, the benefits in the life I have which may have gone a little haywire but still has all the important bits. And if all fails, I can start again like I did when we first got to the UK. It’s hard, it’s sad, it’s difficult to bear sometimes but it’s life. So on reflection, I think I’m still that gal looking at the world in a half full way, even though it’s sometimes challenged. I have wonderful online friends who support me, I have my writing still to make the best of a dark day, even when I don’t sometimes feel like doing it, and I have my family around me, telling me it will all get better.
I don’t know about you but I’m grateful for all these special mercies and when I start bitching about my lot, and being a pain in the arse to anyone listening, pinch me hard, remind what I DO have to be lucky for and tell me to get a move on forwards instead of backwards. That’s the only way to go.